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Have you forgotten who you are?

In this scene, a young lost-boy discovers someone he once knew through the mask of old age. Peter Panning had forgotten who he was. Peter Panning had forgotten his true identity: Peter Pan.

What is your true identity? Does your outside reflect your inside? Do your actions reflect your heart? Are you who you know God wants you to be?

I struggle with pleasing people. It bothers me like hell (hell bothers me!). I want people to like me. I want people to be pleased with what I say, what I do, and who I am. But like I said, it bothers me.

It bothers me because I often feel like I can’t be myself. I feel l can’t challenge people and systems like I feel God prompting me too. I feel held back by my desire to be liked. I feel like I can’t be myself.

To work on it, I need to open up. I need to let go. I need to be myself, and sometimes, just recognize that I serve Jesus, who had so many people unpleased with him that he was murdered for challenging people and systems. I need to be who God has called and made me to be.

Who has Jesus called you to be? Who has Jesus made you to be? Are you that person? Maybe it will take someone to help you discover it, like the lost-boy for Peter. Get around those people. Maybe it will require a lot of hard work, asking questions, and mistakes. Step up and work hard.

It’s time to rediscover who we are! It’s time we change and start hearing the words from friends, family, and Jesus … “Oh, there you are!”

For Jesus’ fame,
JK


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3 Forms of Leadership

In my business bachelors, I took a few leadership courses. In one of my courses, we attempted to define leadership. We came across three definitions. If you consider yourself a leader, which one are you?

leadershipManagerial Leader: meet the day-to-day, short-term objectives. Motivate workers to accomplish direct goals. These leaders are essential to get things done!

Visionary Leader: create long-term goals and objectives. Motivate a team seeing the overall perspective and pushing a team toward a long-term goal. These leaders are essential to create and cast vision for people to follow and be motivated.

Strategic Leadership is defined this way: “Influence others to voluntarily make day-to-day decisions that enhance long-term viability, while maintaining its short-term financial stability”

I was interested to take this definition of a strategic leader and apply it to church ministry. When I look at Jesus, I see Him more of a strategic leader: he cast vision & met the daily needs of people.

Here is my working definition of a Pastor (I know that having a definition for a role is kind of weird sometimes, but it helps me know what to focus on and stay focused):

“A Pastor must focus to positively influence the congregation to voluntarily pursue involvement that supports community, advances the church and glorifies God, while challenging personal growth and developing spiritual multipliers.”

I would be very interested to know your thoughts on this!

For Jesus’ Fame,
JK


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  1. Jay Brock Says:

    Wondering… shouldn't a church at all three types of leaders as pastors?

  2. Leah Kelly Says:

    I think that one of the toughest, yet one of the most rewarding parts of being a leader (particularily as a pastor) is the part where you are motivating people to do something voluntarily. Difficult because you can’t use force when you are trying to change and impact the state of someone’s heart, but so rewarding bc you know that at the end of the day, that person made the decision voluntarily and you know it goes deep a a result.
    I also like the phrase “spiritual multipliers”… I have my hunch as to what you meant by this James, but care to elaborate?

  3. James Kelly Says:

    Jay - I think it would be good for a church to have all three, but sometimes a church ain't big enough to have them all - in that case, I would hope they have a strategic leader rather than the other two.

    Leah, Great comment and great question about spiritual multipliers (yes I know its a little christiany lingo). I had the same comment asked by someone on my blog, and here was my answer:
    "First, a spiritual multiplier is energizer bunny discipleship - it keeps going and going. The idea is that if you and I hang out, and I really built into you, the hope is that you would then go out and do that with a few other people, and so on." - does that suffice?

Mondays Mumblings

Hey Friends!

Michelle and I watched the first two Harry Potter films over the weekend.  Much better than the first time I watched them… back in high school, Rich and Kevin convinced me to “watch three of em”, starting at 2AM.  I was delirious by dawn.  My favourite quote so far:

“It does not do to dwell on dreams, Harry…and forget to live.”

Things are seriously heating up with Hope For the Sold. We’ve got a crazy September goings-on, and after that we’ll be looking for monthly supporters, a huge team of intercessors, and a bunch of volunteers to truly kill this thing.  Getting pumped!

Just finished one full week without Facebook. Man, I am SERIOUSLY addicted.  Every day was like withdrawal, it was BAD.  Gonna seriously limit my intake from now on.  Twas nice to come back to 23 messages and 37 notifications though!

We’ve just added TWO new guest bloggers to The Sex Rev, and I couldn’t be more excited!

Cat Greene (formerly Cat Cranna until she married the uber-stud Cody) will be writing monthly or so for No Boys Allowed.

James Kellywill be hopping on No Boys Allowed for some passionate ranting on a monthly or more basis.

Right now I’m working on three major projects that I need you to pray about for me:

  1. A Manifesto… I’m currently writing a short, funky, free ebook that kinda encapsulates everything I’m trying to say with the Sex Rev.  It’s about 75% done the actual written content, then it’s off to the graphic designers.
  2. Hope For the Sold stuff … trying to get your charitable status as an amateur like myself is absolute insane.  I don’t even want it, but people who don’t understand incorporation law or give for the wrong reasons seems to like it. Sigh.
  3. A book… I’d say I’m 60% done writing the content part.  I truly feel God is providing the direction- I feel SO much peace with where it’s going.  You’ve probably never heard some of the stuff that’s coming out in it.  E.x.c.i.t.e.d!

Apologies that this site is crashing more than a (fill in your random group of bad drivers here).  Still working on it.

Feel free to Facebook message/Tweet/email me if you’d like to chat.

At 3:30 today I’ll be posting, on Twitter and Facebook, a short 15 minute talk by a very passionate dude…perfect for all you entrepreneur/dreamer/leader types!

Do one thing today that brings you closer to your God-given dreams.

Love,

Jay


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My Story

us

Me

I’m not sure if we’ve formally met.

My name is Jared Alan Brock.  Friends call me Jay.  I am 23 years old.  I live in Hamilton, the city of waterfalls and smog.  The only benefit- no mosquitoes.

I like to play squash, basketball, and frisbee golf.  I like to watch movies and eat at restaurants.  I read for a few hours every single day.

I love to travel…and not to the touristy spots either.  I prefer yurts and hick towns and treehouses and camping on the side of the road with a knife in my hand.

I said the prayer when I was 5 and was baptized when I was 10.  I didn’t have a clue.

Her

It wasn’t love at first sight.  She was fresh off the boat from Finland, decked out in Northern Getaway Apparel.  A poster child for grandmas in 1991.  The year was 1997.  I leaned over to my best friend John and whispered, “what truck hit her?”

She was there when my voice changed.  She was there for puberty and hormones and graduation.

Michelle- my love, my life, my muse.  She was my blonde, blue-eyed, Scandanavian beauty.  We were destined be together forever.  And everyone knew it.

I kissed her on the cheek in the summer of grade 7 on a hill at a Newsboys concert at Wonderland.

To be sure, this was true love.

And then I broke her heart.  Twice.  The second time was worse.  She had night terrors.  Panic attacks.  New allergies.  Her best friend died.  Her faith flat-lined. Her life fell apart.  Little did she know at the time, God was using these events to teach her a lesson.

Too bad I didn’t learn mine.

Sin

First step is admitting you have a problem.

And I had a big one.  A serious lust addiction.  Girls were of little or no value.  Brutal addiction to masturbation.  Pornography.  Taking advantage of girls.  Lust of the eyes, mind, and flesh.

My first sexual experience occurred when I was four years old, and it messed me up big time.

I saw porn for the first time when I was 10… lightning hit the cable box and flipped the NBA All-Star game onto a lesbian Playboy special.

Masturbation followed shortly thereafter.

Fooled around in high school.

I messed up my brain and I wounded my heart.  I stole something from the future husbands of my ex-girlfriends.  I broke my future wife’s heart.

Then I came clean.  Gave up.  Got broken.  Realized I couldn’t win.

God saved me.

He saved me, but He’s still healing me.

Apart

I took some time to “be with Jesus.”  I went to a camp and read the entire Bible in two weeks straight.  I went to a cottage and listened to 20 hours of messages by some of the best preachers I knew.  I went to a different camp and spent four hours in prayer a day for 4 days straight.  I poured myself into my work, thinking serving God would do the trick.  Nothing.  I didn’t know what I wanted.

Michelle.  Eventually, I started coming around again.  Chatting. Talking. Flirting. Spending time together.  Her dad was furious.  Her mom was worse.  Deservedly.

Michelle wasn’t taking the bait.  I pressed harder.  Then one day, she snapped.  She collared me against a wall and angrily fired the question- “what do you want out of life?”

Talkative Jay had nothing to say.  “I’ll let you know” I mumbled.

And I went searching.  Seeking God’s will then more than ever before in my life.  Two weeks of intense prayer and seeking.

Then I confidently came back to her with my answer.

“I want to be a humble Christ-follower, a best-selling author, and your husband for life.”

Today

Fast forward to today.  I am perfect, pure, holy, and righteous in every way possible.  Unfortunately, I still struggle with lying.

I still wage war with lust.

I resist forgiveness.

I have a hard time accepting grace.

I push back against brokenness.

I’m quick to judge others.

I don’t feel the love of God sometimes.

I’m still being healed and restored.

Today I have a new standard of living.  I have a new way of viewing women.  I have a trustworthy accountability partner.  I have a new mindset.  I have a hope and a vision for the future.

I’m gratefully part of a seriously awesome community of Jesus-lovers.

I am married to my best friend and dream partner, Michelle, and I would love to have eight kids someday.  We’re coming up on our one year anniversary, and I love her now more than ever before.

I love to write, and dream of doing it for a living someday.  I also hope to be part of church plant that absolutely rocks it for the kingdom of Jesus in Hamilton and around the world.

You

Some people read my story and think I’m a monster.  These people live in caves.  They have no clue.  I’m not a freak.  I’m just the average story.  I’ve been around the block, and I know I’m not alone.

I know dozens of people who have been raped or abused.

I know hundreds of guys who are struggling with lust, porn, masturbation, or homosexual attraction.

I hear the stories of girls who throw their bodies away in a desperate attempt for love and affection.

I’ve seen countless marriages get absolutely wasted by sexual sin.

I watch the broken children of families torn apart by selfish and hurting parents.

I have witnessed the devastation of countless souls destroyed because of sexual impurity.

I am not alone.

If you’re anything like me, you cannot live with His love and will not survive without His grace.

He can save and heal you too.


Blog

This blog is my daily reminder to keep it all together.  This blog helps me maintain perspective.  Maybe it does that for you too.  This is where our stories intersect.

I write this blog for me.  I write this blog for people like me.

Because no one else is.  No one wants to talk about impurity.  We have no voice, those of us who struggle with sexual sin and want to join together to tar-and-feather Satan and sin and run them out of our lives.

So far, we’ve managed to bring together a few brave people to start the conversation.

But I’m looking for more.

I’m looking for survivors.  People who have been beat up by life, Satan, others, themselves…and yet are still clinging to Jesus.

I’m looking for thrivers.  People who have gone beyond surviving and are actually standing firm in purity and righteousness.

I’m looking for soldiers.  People who are taking ground and going on the offensive for the Kingdom of God in the spiritual realm.

I’m looking to be part of a sexual revolution.


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  1. G-Dad Says:

    Man that’s good stuff you have written today. The Holy Spirit and you work well together. I love you Jay! (even though you write gooder than most peoples)

  2. Melissa Gauthier Says:

    wow. what a powerful testimony, and story. Thank you for sharing it with all of us. :)

  3. Josh Says:

    I recently read an article in the National Post regarding a recent survey done by the Institute of Marriage and Family Canada. Essentially, they studied the cost of what our government is spending on supporting single-parent families per year, and the figure was around the 7 - billion mark. In response to this, they are thinking of encouraging the government to educate high school students about the benefits of being in a “marital union.”

    This is encouraging, but sad when you think about the fact that it takes $7 billion of government aid to support the disaster that is our society’s take on what a satisfactory relationship consists of - get hitched, get shacked, get dumped. I think that, although it’s not easy to admit, the results of this lifestyle are clear - millions of kids with no real father, millions of women and men feeling unsafe and insecure in their relationships with their “partners”, because the natural result of being in a non-committed relationships is having a partner who might decide that your relationship isn’t worth it when times get tough, instead of working through it.

    From what I have perceived as a university student, as a friend of more than one single parent, and as an assistant at a family law firm, I believe that there is only heartbreak and destruction - or at least a much better chance of experiencing these things - in settling for anything less than what God intends for us: a monogamous, pure, loving, grace-filled, selfless, humble, until-death-do-you-part marriage.

    I completely support the idea of a sexual revolution. It’s time to turn the recreationalization of sex and romance around.

  4. Josh Says:

    I’ll post the article that I referred to in my post here as well for anyone who would like to read it: http://www.nationalpost.com/news/canada/story.html?id=1660074

  5. Jay Brock Says:

    Thanks very much… I’ve been working on it for more than a few weeks!

  6. Bre Wardell Says:

    Jay, Thanks for sharing your story! It’s the truth and you can tell. It’s so good to hear stories of real people rather than people who pretend to be perfect. How far from perfect is everybody in this world.
    You are a leader to many people and your walk with God have strengthen many people’s walks with God including mine. To see you live the way you do is encouraging! Thanks!

  7. Jay Brock Says:

    I appreciate that Bre. I hope that it allows others to be more free to share their story…or at least realize that this is a safe place and that I’m not just a talking mouth. I’m just clinging to the fact that God wants to use me, and that helps me keep it together. God uses broken people to change the world and start revolutions!

How to Start and Grow Your a Blog- Part 4 of 4- The Grand Finale!

You can catch up here:

Part 1- Why I Blog

Part 2- How to Read 100 Blogs per Week

Part 3- How I Run 5 1/2 Blogs

 

I love blogging. It’s a huge outlet for me. It’s a good platform builder. It’s a great way to learn from others. It let’s you meet tons of new people. It lets you share about your specific passion.

Maybe for you it’s Photography.  Sports. Money.  Travel.  Animals.  People.  Humor. Underwater Ping Pong. Business. Leadership. Youth Culture. Michael Jackson dance moves. Church planting.  Whatever.  In the next few months, Michelle will be starting one on sex trafficking.  Whatever topic(s) you choose, just make sure it points to Jesus somehow.  That’s why we’re alive.

Sooo…here are some seriously helpful links to get your started on your own blog.

Thomas Nelson Publishers CEO talks about 9 steps to starting a blog.

You gotta pick a platform…the big ones are:
Wordpress (what I use)
Blogger
Movable Type
Typepad
Xanga
Live Journal

Start a Wordpress blog here.

791 Free Wordpress Themes for your site

Bootstrapper’s List of 100 Blogger Tools

A few of my favourite web designers: John Saddington (Human3rror and Church Crunch) and Brad Ruggles- Learning How to Live

The designer who created Sexrev.org…John at Dr. Martian located in Malta. If you use them, let them know I sent you!

Whenever I create a site, I post an ad on Web Designer Wall Job Board. Right now I’m working on re-launching www.jaredbrock.com. I put up a wanted ad LAST WEEK…so far it’s had 5692 views, and I have received 92 emails from solid designers. Well worth the cash if you’re going to pro route. Much thanks to Nick La (fellow Canadian!) for setting me up. If you use him, let him know I sent you.

My personal advice:

Post regularly.
There is nothing worse than people who start a blog and then post 6 times a year. If you expect people to visit your blog, you need to be honest. I know some bloggers who only do it twice per week, Monday and Thursday. That’s cool.  Tony Morgan and Ben Arment post about 1000 times per day. Also cool. You just gotta make sure it’s regular. Here at the Sex Rev, we post on the main page five days per week. We’re still working on our levels for the other four, but the main page is very consistent. If it’s a normal weekday, there’s something here for you.

Post the best you’ve got.
This doesn’t mean LONG. This means QUALITY. Tell a story, make a point, shed some light…but do it to the best of your abilities.

Add pictures or video.
Keep me interested.

Stop making my eyes bleed.
I will not read a post that is incredibly long and looks boring. Add italics, capitals, bold face, colours, create PARAGRAPHS, use correct punctuation, correct spacing, etc. Break it into pieces to give my eyes a rest.

Get creative.
Make your site pretty.

Create outposts.
I use Facebook and Twitter. You might use Myspace, Flickr, etc. Just have some outposts where you’re expanding your audience.

To grow your blog, comment on other people’s blogs.
This is a great way to get some traffic- assuming you add value to their blog and have something good to say.  Also, another great way is to link to posts by other bloggers.  You’ll see that on Sex Rev all the time- my hope is to increase traffic to others who I think are doing great things for the Kingdom.

Determine your water level.
I planned ahead for six months and build a crazy jacked-up site. Maybe you’re looking to start a free site in 5 minutes. Both options are available. You just gotta know where you want to start.

So that’s how you can start and grow your own blog. I wish you the best of luck hard work, networking, creativity, and God-inspired passion.  Was this post helpful?  Let me know once you’re up and running and I’ll share the link here.

Jay

Can you do something for me this week?
May 30th will be the Sex Rev’s 4 month anniversary. I need you to share this site with your friends this week…if 159 completely new people visit, we’ll reach our 5000th unique visitor!!!

Things you could do:
-send out an email
-message the link to a friend
-post a note or share on Facebook
-share your favourite post link on Twitter
-put a link to the Sex Rev on your blog, Facebook, or Myspace page

THANKS SO MUCH for your help…think we can do it? GO!


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